Relationships are essential to our existence, shaping our inner and outer experiences from the moment we enter the world. While many of these connections enrich our lives with meaning, others can be marked by confusion, pain and trauma, impacting our well-being and our connections with ourselves and others.

Our early experiences lay the groundwork for our ability to self function in adulthood and the quality of our later relationships. The manner in which we were attuned to by caregivers during our formative years, or the absence thereof, profoundly influences the relationships we forge as adults.

Evaluating whether our relationships serve our well-being reveals insights into our self-beliefs. These beliefs encompass how we expect to be treated, the level of self-respect we hold, our reliance on others for self-worth, validation, also highlighting the insecurities we harbour that may require work.

It is crucial to discern whether a relationship fosters a healthy dynamic based on choice and mutual gratification or if it is characterised by neediness, unmet expectations, one-sided, confusion, or a lack of honest communication. This awareness empowers us to cultivate relationships that nurture our growth and fulfilment.

How can therapy help?

The therapeutic relationship is a powerful catalyst for self-understanding and growth. We help you explore your relationships with others and yourself, creating new attachment experiences and healthier patterns of relating. Our goal is to provide the security and acceptance you may have lacked in the past, guiding you toward a deeper understanding of yourself. Through open communication, therapist’s guide you to build skills that support your life beyond therapy.

While it’s common for everyone to feel anxious during times of pressure or in stressful situations, some individuals may experience heightened levels of anxiety that can interrupt daily life, hindering your ability to fully engage and find fulfilment.

The most common types of anxiety include:

• Generalised anxiety
• Panic disorder
• Obsessive Compulsive Disorder
• Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder
• Phobias
• Health anxiety

Causes of anxiety?

Each individual’s experience of anxiety is unique, and understanding the cause may be complex. The interplay between anxiety and social or relational factors is intricate.

Environmental factors and past experiences can significantly influence the onset and persistence of anxiety, impacting our ability to engage fully in life. These experiences may stem from childhood trauma, feelings of isolation, negative life events, work or educational stress, physical or mental health challenges, and societal pressures.

Stress is our natural response to feeling pressured or threatened. It typically arises in situations where we perceive a lack of control or manageability.

Stress can manifest on various levels:

• Individually – when managing a number of responsibilities becomes overwhelming.
• Within a group – like when a family faces challenges such as bereavement or financial strain.
• Within a community – for instance, if a religious group encounters discrimination.
• Across society – during events like natural disasters.

Even when experiencing stress collectively, individuals within the group may respond differently, highlighting the subjective nature of stress responses.

Is stress a mental health problem?

Stress, although not typically classified as a mental health disorder, is intricately linked to our mental well-being in several ways:

• Causes of Mental Health Problems – Prolonged or intense stress can contribute to the development of mental health disorders such as anxiety, depression, or post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).
• Existing Conditions – Stress can exacerbate existing mental health conditions. For individuals already dealing with anxiety, depression, or other conditions, heightened stress levels can intensify symptoms and impair coping mechanisms.
• Reciprocal Relationship – Mental health problems themselves can be sources of stress. Managing the day-to-day challenges associated with mental health disorders, such as symptoms, medication adherence, and healthcare appointments, can induce stress.
• Substance Use as Coping Mechanism – In response to stress, some individuals may resort to using recreational drugs or alcohol as coping mechanisms. However, substance use can exacerbate mental health issues and lead to additional stressors.

Our social identity can have an impact on various aspects of our self-esteem, self-confidence, and overall well-being, as well as our interactions with others:

• Self-Esteem – Our social identity, including factors such as race, ethnicity, gender, sexual orientation, socioeconomic status, and cultural background, personal experiences, shapes how we perceive ourselves. Affirmation and support from our social circles can increase our self-esteem, whereas discrimination, prejudice, and societal expectations can contribute to feelings of inadequacy or worthlessness.
• Self-Confidence – The messages we receive from society regarding our self identity and abilities can influence our self-confidence. Whilst barriers or stereotypes can undermine our confidence, positive reinforcement and opportunities for growth can enhance our belief in ourselves.
• Sense of Empowerment – Our perception of our agency and ability to effect change in our lives is influenced by societal structures and cultural norms. Access to resources, representation in positions of power, and opportunities for advancement can impact our sense of empowerment.
• Leadership – Stereotypes and expectations about leadership qualities can affect our confidence in assuming leadership roles. Representation and recognition of diverse leadership styles can empower individuals and foster inclusivity.
• Social Visibility – Marginalised identities may face marginalisation in society, impacting their visibility and recognition. Representation and inclusion initiatives can amplify diverse voices and contribute to more equal opportunity..
• Quality of Relationships – Our self-esteem and self-confidence influence how we perceive and engage in relationships. Negative self-beliefs may lead to difficulties in trust and intimacy, whilst positive self-perception can enhance our ability to establish and maintain healthy relationships.

Regarding negative self-beliefs, core beliefs about oneself, others, and the world can deeply influence self-esteem and self-confidence. Challenging and reframing negative self-beliefs, core beliefs about self and others can deeply influence self-esteem and self-confidence. Therapy, self-reflection, and support can promote healthier self-perceptions and more positive interactions with others.

Driven by the rewarding effects it provides an addiction compels an individual to repeatedly engage in a substance or behaviour despite negative consequences. Substance addiction involves substances like alcohol, opioids, cocaine, and nicotine, while behavioural addiction encompasses activities such as gambling.

Neurobiological research indicates that addictive behaviours share common features: they heavily involve brain pathways associated with reward and reinforcement, primarily mediated by the neurotransmitter dopamine. These brain changes are reversible upon discontinuation of substance use or behaviour.

Both substance use disorders and gambling behaviours often co-occur with mental health conditions like depression and anxiety. While drug addiction may result in visible physical side effects, behavioural addiction typically lacks such manifestations. Non-physical signs of addiction include:

• Devoting significant time to substance use or the addictive behaviour
• Inability to quit despite efforts
• Neglecting responsibilities at work, school, or home
• Relationship or social problems
• Developing tolerance to the substance or behaviour
• Experiencing withdrawal symptoms upon cessation
• Abandoning previously enjoyed hobbies or activities

Eating disorders are rooted in distressing thoughts and emotions for the individual, a behavioural condition with persistent disturbances in eating behaviours. They can have an impact on physical, psychological, and social well-being. Various types of eating disorders exist, including:

• Anorexia Nervosa – Driven by an obsessive desire to lose weight, sufferers severely restrict food intake, often to the point of self-starvation. This disorder can occur at any body size and involves a refusal or inability to consume healthy amounts of food for one’s body type and activity level.
• Bulimia Nervosa – Individuals engage in episodes of binge eating, consuming large quantities of food in a short period, followed by purging behaviours such as vomiting, laxative misuse, or excessive exercise to rid the body of calories.
• Binge Eating Disorder (BED) – Unlike bulimia, individuals with BED do not engage in purging behaviours, instead they experience compulsive eating episodes, consuming large amounts of food in a short time span, then may experience feelings of guilt, shame, and depression following binge episodes.

Behaviours related to eating disorders may include restrictive eating, binge eating, purging, or compulsive exercise, and can exhibit patterns reminiscent of addiction. They are often associated with preoccupations with food, weight, or body shape, as well as anxiety about eating or the consequences of food consumption. It’s important to note that eating disorders can affect individuals of any gender and at any age.

Abuse encompasses various forms of harm inflicted upon vulnerable adults:

• Physical Abuse – Intentional bodily injury, such as slapping, pinching, choking, or inappropriate use of physical restraints.
• Sexual Abuse – Nonconsensual sexual contact, including unwanted touching, rape, coerced nudity, or sexual explicit photographing.
• Emotional Abuse – Deliberate infliction of mental or emotional pain through intimidation, coercion, ridicule, harassment, isolation, use of silence, yelling, or swearing.
• Exploitation – Illegal or improper use of a vulnerable adult’s resources or income for another person’s profit or gain, such as unauthorised withdrawals, forgery, or theft.
• Neglect – Failure to provide necessary care to maintain a vulnerable adult’s physical or mental health, including basic needs like food, water, clothing, shelter, medicine, or healthcare.
• Self-Neglect – When a vulnerable adult fails to adequately care for themselves, jeopardising their well-being or lacking basic necessities like food and water.
• Abandonment – Leaving a vulnerable adult without means to obtain necessary essentials like food, clothing, shelter, or healthcare, such as desertion in a public place or abandonment at home.

Each form of abuse can result in emotional, mental and behavioural changes and carry distinct signs and indicators. It is essential to recognise and address these signs if noticed in another or yourself, to protect from harm.

Bereavement encompasses the experience of losing someone significant in our lives, followed by grief, a process involving a range of emotions. Losing a loved one, whether a partner, family member, or friend, can be emotionally devastating, evoking complex feelings, emotional distress and sometimes impacting physical health.

Grief can also be triggered by various types of loss or life changes, such as the end of a relationship, job loss, relocation, or witnessing the decline in the health of a loved one. Additionally, distressing global events can also elicit feelings of grief.

Grief is highly individualised, with each person navigating their emotional responses in different ways. It’s common to experience a multitude of emotions simultaneously or in rapid succession, and feelings may be confusing at times. It’s important to note there’s no right or wrong way to grieve.

As for the duration of grief, there’s no set timeline. It varies greatly from person to person and can be influenced by factors such as the nature of the relationship with the deceased, the circumstances of their death, and one’s prior experiences with loss.

Trauma refers to experiencing highly stressful, frightening, or distressing events that are often beyond our control and challenging to cope with. These events can occur as singular incidents or persist over an extended period. While most people will encounter at least one traumatic event in their lifetime, the effects of trauma can be profound and long-lasting, affecting individuals in varied ways.

Different types of trauma include:

• Acute trauma – Resulting from a single stressful or dangerous event.
• Chronic trauma – Arising from repeated and prolonged exposure to highly stressful situations, such as cases of child abuse, bullying, or domestic violence.
• Complex trauma – Stemming from exposure to multiple traumatic events.

Immediately following a traumatic event, individuals may experience overwhelming emotions, feelings of helplessness, shock, or difficulty processing their experiences. Long-term effects of trauma can significantly impact a person’s well-being. If symptoms persist and fail to diminish in severity, it may indicate the development of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), a mental health disorder characterised by persistent trauma-related symptoms. Trauma can also manifest in physical symptoms.

Secondary trauma is also another type of trauma, also known as vicarious trauma, wherein individuals develop trauma symptoms due to close contact with someone who has experienced a traumatic event. Family members, mental health professionals, and caregivers are at risk of experiencing vicarious trauma, with symptoms often resembling those of PTSD.