Why is loneliness so common amongst the South Asian community when there is deep emphasis on family, community, and interconnectedness?
Over the last few years there has been a rise in feelings of loneliness within the South Asian community and many have been wondering how and why this is occuring. The rise of this is a complex yet important discussion, as loneliness and isolation contribute largely to the rise in mental health issues.
Below are some of the contributing factors to loneliness within the South Asian community:
Expectations
Family dynamics can often involve unconsciously held generational trauma, such as emphasis placed upon; status, personal needs often being overlooked, self-sacrifice seen as being a ‘good’ human being, and conforming to family pressure. These are just a few of the contributing factors involved in the experience of loneliness, especially if your focus or mindset differ from these cultural belief-systems.
Should the notion of marriage, career choice, or differing lifestyle challenge the ‘norm’, this can create an internal conflict, along with not feeling truly understood if the individual does not have an accepting or understanding support system – casting out the true voice and feelings a person may carry, which can be a very painful and lonely experience.
Mental Health Stigma
Many struggling with their mental health in the South Asian community can often hide their struggle and experience feelings of shame for either reaching out to a family member or a professional. The pressure of holding a certain reputation within the community, many can be discouraged from discussing their internal feelings, often resulting in either avoiding, suppressing, or using coping strategies that only deepen loneliness and mental health issues.
Generational and Cultural Gaps
There is a generational gap when it comes to the awareness of mental health with the older generation living off survival and focus to meet basic needs, and the younger generation more focused on emotional needs and aspects of living. The assimilation between new society and tradition can be difficult to navigate, therefore also contributing to cultural gaps and loneliness.
When East meets West, though the merge can be expansive and liberating, it can also bring up many complex and conflicting thoughts, behaviours, and emotions that can make it hard to understand or know how to hold both in balance. This holding can be a lonely experience for many South Asians.
Gender Roles
Traditional gender roles can contribute to feelings of isolation and loneliness. Many suggest that women struggle most with this, however I believe there is just as much loneliness experienced by men as a result of gender roles. This is a debatable issue and one that can be discussed as a separate title due to its depth and expansive dialogue surrounding it.
For women the isolating factors can be the result of; appearance, career choices, limited personal freedom, and the pressure to marry and have children, plus many more. For men the pressure can be; to be the ‘breadwinner’ or the ‘masculine figure of strength’ which can make it difficult to express emotions in a healthy manner, leading to suppression. This can result in the inability to connect with others in an effective manner and adds to their sense of isolation.
Social Media
For all, there are unrealistic comparisons with others’ lifestyles and the ‘connection’ apps which in fact contribute to loneliness due to reliance on technology for connection, rather than human interactions. For South Asians specifically, this can have an impact if there is a lack of validation from those within their community, if expectations surrounding social status are not met, or if there is openness of their personal struggles or mental health issues being addressed on a wider platform. These can contribute to the neverending reach to online information that can significantly impact the feelings of loneliness and mental well-being.
Some ways in which we can address loneliness:
- Bridging Generational Gaps – Educating the older generation on mental health and enabling the younger generation to share their thoughts and feelings in a safe space.
- Open Conversations on Mental Health – addressing the stigma surrounding mental health is crucial for reducing the experience of loneliness. Promoting open conversations and normalising seeking support professionally, either through a Counsellor or Psychotherapist.
- Increased Awareness and Inclusion – Creating safe spaces for South Asians to talk openly and honestly, and expressing without judgement can also contribute to reducing feelings of isolation.
By acknowledging the unique factors that contribute to loneliness in the South Asian community, steps can be taken to foster more inclusive, supportive environments where individuals feel seen and heard.